11/11/2016 1 Comment 5 Years of RelationshipI wrote this article on November 11, 2016. This day has entering me to our fifth year of relationship. It’s being my first time of long dating journey. I usually celebrate the anniv by meeting with her. But today, I simply make this post that could summarize our five years of us.
This post may not be heart-touching-love story like people who are fall in love. I’ll only tell about anything we did during five years. Basically we all agree that a quality of relationship is not determined by the length of that but the process and result. Everyone want to have a happy ending story. Married and lived happily ever after. Here are five things that we earned during this not-easy relationship: 1. The longer you are dating, the more you are asked, "When will you get married?" We believe that having a long relationship is just too risky thing. We should have a mentally readiness of being asked by people about what’s next of your step. Your minds are penetrated not only by their comments but also the fact that every weekend is marriage day recently. It does not include how many wedding posts in your timeline. And every invitation that you’ve to attend either alone or in pairs. Our long dating is already equal with the length of car loan period. Yes it’s definitely five years. We started our relationship since we are students in college. We are not the only one couple who committed to dating with classmate in communication program. Some couples already come to an end, while others still survive today. But today, I clearly see that there is a phenomenon to get married young. But delaying of marriage is also horrifying. There are costs to delaying marriage, a phenomenon that has reached a new threshold, with the average age of marriage for men reaching the historic high of 29 and women 27. I ever read about the research from a project that explores the benefits and costs of delayed marriage in America, points to some of the risks of waiting so long to marry. While delayed marriage does have economic benefits for college educated women and is credited with bringing down the overall divorce rate, the news isn't all good. 2. It’s about more than a half of dating was spent for Long Distance Relation(shit) About 3,5 of 5 years of dating was spent by long distance. The first 2,5 years was LDR between Jakarta – Jogja then the rest was Jakarta – Luwuk. It’s felt like tiring moment when we can not meet even we missed each other. We can only meet in 3 or 6 months and feel so awkward when you meet your GF after having a LDR. LDR also become the main reason to break up. Let's see how many couples who end up their relationship just because they were not able to survive during a relationship with distance? A lot. “Was he are boring?” “She was to busy.” “Any problem?. What happened now?” People often ask the LDR-couple-questions like these all the time when they think something is “off” in their relationship. When you can spend regular face-to-face time with your partner, it’s easier to follow up on that sinking feeling and figure out whether you really should be worried or if you just misread the situation. But it's not so easy when you’re in a long distance relationship. When you don’t have the quality of time together holding hands, hugging, kissing or regular uninterrupted talk, doubts can build and cause stress, strain and problems. Think about how you act when you believe that something is wrong with your relationship: defensive, needy, clingy, insecure and maybe even hostile. Most people unintentionally push their love away as worries grow. Some make a conscious decision to shut out their partner, certain that he or she will be breaking up soon. You don’t have to suffer through another anxious moment. For the LDR couples, a gadget is was amazing tools for supporting our engagement. We did many simple things as giving a hello to each others and discussed anything we got. This could be done through chats and or sending some photos, we also have a video call session via facetime. Off course, this things is not powerful ways to heal your feeling of longing but on the contrary, it’s exacerbate the level of your desire to meet. 3. Too many memories shared and we are not really want to make a new one Do we look we are so fine? Not really. Every long distance relationship has their own problems. LDR becomes a tool to prove that the distance and time could constantly manage your sense of love and trust or otherwise. Boredom is certainly inevitable. And we are often think we wan to break up but it’s seems like such a difficult thing to do and making a new relationship is too easier than forgetting all memories we had before. Too many memories spent together from eating together, watching movies, unimportant hang out, attend the event together, or just simply come to home and meet parents. You would think that forgetting those memories even more difficult than making a new memories a new one. This relationship became feels weird when we began to talk about the closeness with others. We are still going and we discuss about what we are doing now and whether we are being close to anyone right now. The point is a responsible to have a mutual communication. Because in the end, we would definitely go back if we believe she/he are the best partner of us. Just trust her. 4. She asked for 1.000 times to break up, and I did once Honestly, I do not ever want to calculate how long we are dating so far. Including how many times she want to break up with any no-make sense reasons. I have often heard from her about the request of breaking up like “you're too nice, I am bored, we are not kind of fit couple, we have different principles, and other odd reason.” It’s uncountable times she asked for that and I always rejected. I just believe when women ask you to break up, it doesn't means for that. She was not really serious about asking for it. In fact, I think it was a bluff thing. Perhaps, we are too busy with our respective lives and someone feels she was forgotten. But sometimes I find it to be irritating. That's how I feel til I eventually asked for broke our relationship for the first time. I just feel that this relationship is too joking to be filled with desperate complaints. The situation was difficult, infrequent meetings, and communications filled with emotion and despair. I hate these things. But as I said at previously, that we were not really want to break up. We did not really seriously want it and just want to have more attention each others. 5. Still hoping that marriage is not only just a discourse So what do we look for from any relationship instead of having a marriage? That's the truly goals of a pre-marital relationship. Besides the fact that our age is now no longer fits spent with dating style like we were student in junior high school or just like Awkarin and Gaga. So it was the most important thing is ending up the story with getting married. I was too amazed with my friends who had never heard about of their love story, but suddenly they were got married. I feel that they are really a true couple. They do not need to show they had a lovely relationship for many years, but certainly their were marriage. If you think that Awkarin and Gaga is an relationship goals, maybe I'll consider “Ijab Qabul” is the best goal. Nothing is more greget than end of a relationship with proposing a promise to live and love together by side. And the commitment to share the good times and hard times by your side. And while preparing everything,we are constantly pray to make it happen. Happy five years to us!
1 Comment
Boboch
11/20/2016 03:35:35 pm
Semangat om ghoraaaa !!
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